THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 2010

This blog actually started off as a simple status update on my Facebook, but after I was on line #5, I realized that I had a lot to say on this matter and had to blog it out.

The past 6 months have been phenomenal: so many great opportunities, experiences, and I am loving all the new friends and connections I have made. I loathe sitting still, and it's been a rush to be so busy. More like a dream come true, because I am busy doing what I love, and as an added bonus: am creating fun memories from all the social aspects of the events.

It's almost too good to be true: there has to be some sort of catch, or fine print that I'm not seeing. Wait, I think I found it.

Before I get into my "venting," I'd like to give a little insight as to how I tick, when it comes to working.
I like to fix things. I like to organize things. I like to learn how things work. And I like to help others. I genuinely take pride knowing that I have assisted someone to understand something, or have helped them in a way to that their lives run more efficiently. Of course, that is, when help is wanted. I don't go around on some sort of opinionated, power-hungry rampage and try to control people's lives. Basically, if someone asks me for help, there is a 99.9% chance that I will say YES and put forth full effort.
With that said, when I take on any job, I get involved, over-the-top. Most jobs I have had start off with me as a small contributor to a business. But that's not enough: I need to know how the whole machine works; I refuse to be just a gadget within the machine. "How does it function? What are the causes and effects? What will improve it?" are instant questions that pop into my head. With permission, I start taking on additional tasks that are not listed in my original job description and thus, create more work for myself. This is not a complaint: I actually CARE about these things. So, in a nutshell, I go beyond my assigned duties and am very observant and over-analytical.

At this point in my tv-hosting pursuits, I feel like I have an addiction: I can't get enough work, and I want to be in a million spots at once. I feel like I want to be a part of anything and everything. Not a bad thing; I'm motivated, right?
Well, usually, I'm pretty good at organizing, and I give myself a pat on the back for the fact that I am quick to respond to people. But with so much going on, and more-and-more people in my circle, it's gotten to a point where I have to start picking and choosing what I can do, or who I can help out. The downfall ("catch") is the juggling of my personal relationships, my working relationships, and my industry pursuits. I know I can't please everyone, but it really sucks to let someone down.

In the past month, I have encountered this situation a few times. The worst one was this past Sunday, where I had a ticket to the Bears game, and a then great opportunity arose to be involved a tv show that is shooting in Chicago right now. The obvious choice was to go for the tv gig: it was paying, I was casted, and it could lead to more work. But choosing the job would have resulted in hurting a personal relationship. No matter what I went for, someone would get fucked over, and I would have a nagging feeling for a week.

I realize that this is not going to be the last time that this will occur. In fact, I had to make another choice for this upcoming Saturday. This option was a little bit more easy, since one of the choices could be completed another day. But I still have to make that phone call and be like, "I'm sorry!" It sucks!

I want to clarify that this is not a complaint or gripe. I am happy that I'm presented with choices, and that I'm not looking for something to do. And I'm especially happy that people like me and want me to be a part of job/event/experience/task. This is moreso to say that I'M SORRY if I take a couple days to get back to you, or if I can't make it to help you.

Please don't stop asking for me or give up on me. I don't want to scare people off with this blog; I don't want people to forego contacting me at all because they figure, "Oh, she'll be too busy..." I want to be a part of your life. And I want to continue making new friends and contacts. And I want to continue having a full calendar. But most of all, I know what I want to do for a living, and this industry involves a lot of footwork and sucking up (boo). I am not blowing anyone off, and I'm not a diva or anything. It's just new territory for me, and I am creating a better system for myself that will aid me in balancing my life and work, and hinder me from forming a multiple personality disorder. But I'm addicted and it's not going away soon. Please bare with me.

THANK YOU to all the new friends I have made this past year, and THANK YOU to the people who have casted me for jobs and opportunities. You have made this a great 2010, and there's still 3.5 months left. I'm going to continue working for the rest of the year, and have some AWESOME jobs lined up that I CAN'T WAIT to share with you. But shhh! It's a secret right now...