My Dad, The Weirdo


Father's Day is over a week away, but this morning I woke to one of the most random voicemails I've ever received. I don't know if this will even be funny to anyone else; but it made my day. And I've only been awake for a couple hours. I think anyone who knows my dad will also share in the humor, but to everyone else: this can serve as a little insight into my own weird humor and occasional social awkwardness.

A little prelude to this recording:

Last weekend, my girlfriends and I went out for dinner & drinks to celebrate a birthday. While we were out to dinner, my dad called me and explained that his refrigerator broke, and the only perishable items he really cared about losing were some chicken pot pies. So, he asked me if I wanted to come pick them up. I explained to him that I was out for the evening, and was not driving because I was drinking. I told him that I was probably going to be out late, and he should just drop them off at my mom's house, because I wouldn't get a chance to stop by.

I don't know if this is relevant, but I guess I should mention that he's 66 years old, always talks about how he came "THISCLOSE" to a winning combination at the horse track, loves searching for dropped money, and collects aluminum litter to bring into the recycling center for cash. Just some tidbits that make my dad, my dad.

That was on Saturday, and yesterday (Monday) he called and left a voicemail, which I didn't get around checking until this morning, right when I woke up. I seriously laughed for 5 minutes straight. Captions below the player.

^ If you can't view the player, click on this link:

"How come you didn't come over here and get them pot pies? Now I cooked them today-- I had ice in the trays--I'm getting my new refrigerator tomorrow. Next time you're out drinking, come over here, and we're gonna dye your hair blonde... And uh... cut your hair... and uh... for the summer. OK, Give me a call; I'll talk to you later."

BAHAHAHAHA! wtf? Thanks, Dad.