Alone

You’ve been dumped and you feel so ALONE.

Aside that you’re obvious fact that you’re single from a relationship standpoint, overnight, you went from having a person that you could be close and intimate with, to no one at all. 

And it’s an extra blow to the central nervous system, when you weren’t even expecting it, you thought everything was fine, and come to find out, the person you want to be with, doesn’t feel the same.

Depending on your attachment style, you may be in a total panic right now. And ironically, the one person that you that you’re comfortable enough to talk to, is the very person that dumped you.

With that said, you may have begged or pleaded. You may have thrown things, you may have screamed, you may have tried to talk logic. 

If you did, it’s ok. Don’t judge yourself; it already happened. Let’s move forward. 

You and your ex may get back together in the future. But right now, is not the time to get back together. Attraction has dropped, and something about that relationship was not working, otherwise the relationship wouldn’t have ended.

If there’s gonna be any chance that you to start a new relationship and it succeeds, both of you are going to have to go through some self realizations, and heal things within you.

It is not your job to figure out your dumper's journey, it’s not your job to figure out what they need, it’s not your job to understand their psychology.

It’s your job, to do all those things for yourself. This is how you will grow and glow. And while you’re doing all this, strive for peace. When you can get to the point where you enjoy your own company and being alone, then you know you’re making progress.

My account is all about who you are, through the spirit that’s inside of you. in science terms, it’s about tapping into the magnetic field around your heart. The aftermath of a break up is the perfect opportunity to have some epiphanies. A portal is opened.

I’m not a coach, I’m not a healer, I’m not a witch, I’m not a spirit guide. You are in charge of remembering you spirit, activating your heart, and rewiring outdated thought processes. 

Don’t take advice from me or anyone else, but when you watch videos, or read articles, listen to your body. If something you see/read makes you heart tighten, your stomach drop, or you face flush (just as a few bodily examples), write down that tidbit in your breakup notebook and explore that. 

Today, I’m touching on being alone. This is a common phobia. Why is this so scary for most people?

Humans are complex, due to all of influences we have as we navigate from childhood to adulthood. 

Some fear it, due to past experiences of abandonment or rejection. 

Others may dread solitude because they associate it with boredom or lack of purpose.

For some, the fear of being alone may be rooted in a deeper fear of confronting their own thoughts and emotions. 

Societal pressure can also contribute to this fear, because some people think that being in a relationship, or married, is some sort of validation. 

You, of course, are a unique individual, and if you fear being alone, or if it makes you uncomfortable, start figuring out why that is. 

In solitude, we are forced to face our inner selves, which may be unsettling for those who are not accustomed to introspection.

You can probably name a handful of people who jump from relationship to relationship. Your dumper may be one of them. YOU might be one of them; do you find yourself on the prowl right now, looking to socialize or wondering when you can get back into a relationship?

Whether or not you personally relate to that, now is the time to be alone. And slow the fuck down. It’s very common to be counting the days, and trying to rush through this feeling, because it sucks so bad. But now is the time to face it.

Everyone has their own journey, but ironically, when you slow down and truly be present in the process, you can actually heal quicker.

This is not something you can just switch off, and if you think you are capable of switching and moving on right away, question yourself, are you really doing that, or are you suppressing and disassociating? Did you really face it?

When I say slow down, I’m not only talking about taking the time to self reflect, but to also take your time doing everyday things. 

We live in a world where we have machines doing everything for us. There’s a machine that washes the dishes, another that picks up dust off the floor, that gets us from point A to point B, I can go on and on. 

Start manually doing things. Get involved in using your body and mind. Take the long way. This will make you self aware, it will strengthen your brain, and it will engage your spirit. 

Get outside, if you live in a urban area or concrete jungle, find a way to get to some sort of park, something that has other plants and animals, anxiety is instantly reduced when you are around other things that are living. Again connecting your mind and body as you walk, or sit and breath. The lightbulbs will start to go off. 

Avoid drugs and alcohol. I know you may want to self medicate to ease this discomfort. But when you’re doing this, it is crucial that your gateways are clear. 

Once you know what to do for your own spirit, those things can possibly enhance the flow. But until you are at the point, be sober as you remember your spirit and let go of the human influences. 

If you disregarded all this human bullshit and let your spirit take the wheel, everything is so simple. It’s so playful, it’s so peaceful. 

When you start feeling like a kid again, then you know your spirit is emerging. When you were a kid, you can be hang out with yourself. Your imagination was in charge. 

Bring it back. It’s time.