Chase Peace

For the beginning steps of doing a deep dive, to later set up yourself for doing shadow work, think about the emotions you are having. 

You may be having a shitty day today, you may be numb, you may be content. Whatever the case, allow yourself to feel it, without judgement or analysis.

But narrate your feelings as they are happening in the present moment. I have found that it is very helpful to start recognizing your feelings, and accepting them, by narrating what is happening.

For example,
"My heart is hurting today, because I am missing my ex. They dumped me, and I did not agree with the decision. I feel rejected right now as I relive this, and I am wondering why they weren't happy."

What's good to know (even if you don't actually feel it on an emotional level, you can know this on an intellectual level), is that this experience is temporary. 

THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

You do have a choice. It is a superpower of humans.

Just as you were walking down a path, and had to choose which way to go, at a fork in the road, you can choose to deal and face your emotions and to grow from it. Or, you can choose to go into a dark hole, where you hide or suppress, and never truly heal and move forward with your life.

Spoiler alert: Taking that path to empower yourself is definitely the more difficult choice.

It stirs up a lot of shit. But after all is said and done, you taken your power back. You're smarter, stronger, and better than ever before. You have benefitted yourself with an upgrade.

Today I am focusing on HAPPINESS.

A lot of people base their level of success on how happy they are, they will dismiss things if they don't feel happy, they presume that a person, object, or situation will make them happy.

What needs to be realized is that happiness if merely a FEELING. A temporary feeling at that.

When things are going good, we feel happy.
When things are going bad, we don't feel happy.

So, why chase something that is not a permanent thing? It's not a state of being.

You can certainly find things that bring joy to your life, and implement those things. But that is its own story.

What are you trying to BECOME? You don't become happy. 

One thing that I encourage you to actually chase, is to chase PEACE.

The wonderful thing about being in a peaceful state, is that

When things are going well, you can enjoy that moment and be grateful while that moment lasts. And after the moment is gone you are still left with peace, and you can appreciate the happy thing that happened.

And on the flip side when things are not going well (i.e. an obstacle, a difficult situation, you get dumped), you can recognize that it is unfavorable and that you don't like it. But also that you will keep moving forward, and do what you need to do to get better. 

We can't necessarily label things as "bad." More often than not, they pan out to something "good." 

Life goes up and down, and if your resting state is based upon the happiness, then you will also go up and down. Being in a resting state of peace allows you to be even keel, as you navigate those ups and downs of life.

Nothing is static; our circumstances are constantly changing. Life throws you something "good," which turns into something "bad," then you learn something "good," etc. etc..

As you heal from your breakup, keep it in your forefront to chase peace. What will bring you peace?

Another aspect of happiness that I want to highlight is toxic happiness, aka "toxic positivity." Either someone else, or yourself, telling yourself to grin and bear it. "Put a smile on your face," or "it's not so bad," or "things will get better."

I realize that last one may sound contradictory, as earlier in this entry, I mentioned "this too shall pass." But to elaborate, things will pass *WITH TIME.* To instantly flip a switch, and say that you're doing good, you aren't allowing yourself to face what's really going on. You need to release the emotions.

If you feel like shit, then feel like shit. But also do the work to understand why you feel like shit. Don't just slap on a smile and suppress what's really going on.

As I conclude, one more thing relating to peace:
when you have moments where you are feeling like shit, get out of your bed.

Your bed is a place where you sleep, where you rest. It should be a place where you experience peace.

If you are using your bed to cry, think about things that make you feel bad, or a place where you lay down and miss your ex, you are going to associate your bed with feeling like shit, and it's going to mess with your sleep!

Your bed should be a sanctuary.

As you feel your feelings, face your inner self, work things out, or even just be still to heal, at least go do it on the couch! 

Better yet, if you can get outside into some format of nature, whether it be a forest or somewhere with potted plants, being with the air and living earth will soothe your anxiety and also assist with building your immunity and health.