Four Attachment Styles

Transparency: part of this post was curated by the AI that I "created" on Instagram:
https://aistudio.instagram.com/ai/530149339491590/?utm_source=mshare

You’ve been dumped, and you're wondering what went wrong. 

Use your energy and power and reel it back onto yourself, instead of giving it all to the person that left. 

Their drop in attraction, and their choice to leave, may have absolutely nothing to do with you, or the relationship. But instead, it was all about their Attachment style. 

There are 4 different attachment styles:

Anxious-preoccupied

Dismissive avoidant

Fearful avoidant and

Secure

Understanding attachment styles can be highly beneficial for personal growth, relationships, and overall well-being.

By recognizing your attachment style, you can identify your own patterns, foster self compassion, and break your negative cycles. 

Overall, you will enhance your emotional intelligence, and thus, work towards becoming secure attachment (if you’re not already). Which then means all your relationships, not just romantic, will improve. 

I’ll run through the four, and then it’s up to you to further your research and become an expert in yourself.

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Starting with Anxious-Preoccupied attachment: 

These individuals are marked by anxiety and insecurity in relationships. They are overly dependent on their partner and fear abandonment.

Examples are clinging to their partner, needing constant reassurance, people pleasing, difficulty setting boundaries, and very sensitive to rejection.

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Next, Dismissive-Avoidant attachment style. Characterized by a fear of intimacy and emotional closeness. Individuals with this attachment style prioritize independence over interdependence and may come across as aloof or distant.

Examples are becoming distant or unresponsive when it’s time to talk about emotions or intimacy, prioritizing independence over their partner’s needs, avoiding conflict or difficult conversations, difficulty with empathy, and preoccupation with work or hobbies.
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Now, I'll summarize Fearful-Avoidant:

This one is like a combination of anxiety and avoidance. Individuals with this attachment style fear intimacy but also fear being alone, leading to a pattern of push-pull in relationships.

Examples of fearful avoidant are having difficulty trusting, hot and cold behavior (they might be intimate one moment, and then distant the next), self-sabotaging behaviors, like substance abuse, push and pull dynamics, overall mixed signals since they fear intimacy, but can become clingy if they feel abandoned.
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And lastly, Secure attachment style, which usually results when you have secure caregivers.

Characterized by feelings of safety, security, and trust in relationships. Individuals with a secure attachment style feel comfortable with intimacy and independence, and are able to regulate their emotions effectively.

Example behaviors of individuals who have secure attachment can regulate their emotions, are comfortable with intimacy, can effectively communicate, display trust and reliability, are supportive and empathetic, and are able to resolve conflicts and unhealthy and constructive manner.
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It’s possible to relate to more than one attachment style, but generally, you should be able to pinpoint which one takes over most of the time.

It can be very tempting to want to dissect your dumper and spend time and energy thinking about their attachment style and all the things they did during the relationship. And by all means do your thing, as it might have help you to come to a closure, especially if you were dumped unexpectedly.

But remember, in this moment of heartache, especially if you are successfully executing no contact, use this time to take your power back and upgrade yourself to the next level understanding your attachment style and things that you have done, what can you strive for to break the cycle And become a better person for yourself?

It is a reward when you can make these discoveries about yourself and it will lead to an improved quality of all of your relationships. 

Empower yourself by becoming an expert in yourself. Focus on you, and watch your life become more joyful and peaceful.