No Contact Rule

It is commonly announced that the No Contact Rule is 30 days long.

There are no "rules" to what happens in your own life; you decide how long it takes you to process your emotions and heal from that particular obstacle.

However, if we are speaking in terms of a guideline, 30 days is a minimum  of how long you should be drawing focus and love inward. One month, one cycle of the moon.

In my suggestion, I urge a full season: 3 months/90 days to truly gain insight and do the required deep dive to upgrade yourself to the next level. This can set the foundation where you continue to self reflect, and work on yourself FOR-EV-ER.

90 days more than likely seems like a tortuous journey, especially if you're fresh off of the breakup. So let's do small goals first, and focus on 30 days... one day at a time.

There are so many websites that break down the NO CONTACT RULE, and I will also provide a general overview. But even if you are already familiar with the NO CONTACT RULE, read on/watch my video because I may have a spin on this, that you may not have encountered before.

Overview:

The NO CONTACT RULE means that you do not contact/interact with the person that dumped you. You do not reach out to say "hi," there is no social media interactions, you do not ask how they're doing/check up on them, you don't cry to them. Nothing!

You work on yourself during this time period.

The NO CONTACT RULE is not a game.
It is not a tactic to get your dumper back.
It is not a strategy to fuck with your dumper's head.

Truthfully, it is common that your dumper will be in their own torture after your absence is felt, and they long for you again. But that is not the purpose on the NO CONTACT RULE.

The purpose is not to teach the dumper a lesson, but to teach YOU a lesson.

All in all, the relationship that you had with that person is over. I realize this may be something that you do not want to admit, especially if you are fresh off of the breakup. Although it is hard to face, that relationship is done.

For shits and giggles, let's say that you two are meant to be together, down the line:
That must a be a *NEW* relationship. You cannot be the same people, coming back to together. People that do this frequently get back together, and breakup again, then get back together, etc. without any growth. They didn't take time apart to change and become new people, in order to create a brand new relationship with the newfound discoveries. They're the same people, doing the same relationship over and over.

So, yes, you MUST kill off the old relationship and say goodbye to it, if you want to give an opportunity for reconnecting in the future.

I realize I am referencing those who want to get back together with the person that dumped them, but even if you desire to continue with the separation, it still is imperative to work on yourself for at least 30 days.

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Longer version, integrating my spin and purpose of this Heart Mend channel:

Executing the NO CONTACT RULE is about remembering your spirit energy.

When we enter this earth as a human, we are born with a spirit energy and an associated journey.

Stick with me; hear me out!

Think about yourself as a child, and how you saw the world. Your imagination was so vivid; your imagination was reality. And that's because your spirit was still "fresh,"  you were fresh on this earth and freshly in touch with that connection of body and spirit.

Then you grew older; you went through puberty, you started to worry about things in the human world, and you lost that connection. 

Your spirit energy takes a back seat during this. The spirit energy is suppose to be driving!

Do you ever notice, as an adult, if you take on a hobby, you do meet someone special, etc. that brings you joy, there is the expression,

"I feel like a kid again."

That "kid feeling" is your spirit energy and the emotions associated with it.  It's your heart's magnetic field.

A sidenote to starting the NO CONTACT PERIOD:
If you are super fresh off of the breakup, before you dive into this journey, take the time to grieve. At least a day or two where you can feel your emotions and let them out. You just experienced a loss. 

Especially if you attached your identity to the person that dumped you; it's a loss of "you" as well. This type of situation is a prime example of where NO CONTACT can be extremely beneficial. You're not only remembering your spirit energy, but also who you really are. Who were you before you met your ex? Are you the same person now? Or are you better, or worse?

To everyone, if you have any belongings connecting you to your ex, obtain those things (obviously those who have children or other living beings will have to remain a connection in that aspect; your no contact will have wiggle room to care for those beings).

And lastly, if there was any sort of blowup during the breakup, where you insulted your ex or said mean things, go ahead and give an apology and exit on a high note. "I respect your decision; I'm sorry for my reaction and behavior."

Do not reveal to them that you are going into No Contact. In a way, it contradicts the purpose of No Contact by providing your information and energy to the dumper. Keep your energy on you.

And disappear.

Over the next month, focus on you. Dig deep to remember yourself and activate your spirit energy. You're not contacting them, and you do not need them in your life, interfering with progress. You are upgrading yourself! 

If you don't have strength in your willpower, block them on your phone and social media until you are strong enough to be with yourself. If you're still connected on social media, unfriend/unfollow at the very least.

I can't wait for you to create the world you desire and that you deserve! You got this.