Upgrade Your Outer Health

You’ve been dumped, you’re in no contact, but still hurting.

Everyday one at a time, and during this healing process, this is the portal to remember who you really are, and to upgrade your life experience to the next level.

Yesterday’s entry was about internal health, nourishing your body, not only for immunity, but to also ease the effects of anxiety and depression. Today, will be a continuation of that, focusing on outer health. Hygiene, skincare, appreciating what you look like.

When we’ve been dumped, there is the grieving of the loss, but it’s an extra twist of the knife, because there’s that feeling of rejection. 

If your dumper cheated on you, there’s also the humiliation, and you can’t help but wonder why someone is “better than you” (spoiler alert, they’re not). 

Even if your dumper was amicable, and gave you closure, there’s still a common feeling of not being good enough.

In turn, it’s also a common reaction to want to go and drastically cut your hair, spend a bunch of money on products and clothes, force yourself into some insane diet, etc. It doesn’t have to be so extreme in order to be impactful. Slow the fuck down and let’s truly CARE for ourself.

Find a way, where, each day, you can set aside a good hour to really pamper yourself. You do you, but I recommend either right when you wake up, or right before you go to bed. Make it a part of your daily routine where you go and admire yourself for that hour. 

Every single one of us is going to pass away at some point. There’s no escaping that. This is the body that you have during this lifetime. And when it’s time to leave this earth, your spirit is going to have to look back on your body and say “bye.” 

So, while you ARE here, do everything you can to take care of it, inside and outside. Instead of watching Netflix or doom-scrolling for an hour, spend time with your body.

Let’s get it.

First, is remaining clean. We’re in 2024, indoor plumbing has been *commonplace* since the 60’s. There is no reason to ever skip cleaning off that layer of body oil. If you’re so sad over the breakup, where you are couch-rotting, your body doesn’t need to rot as well. 

Especially take care of your feet, they are the foundation of your body. If you ever see old paintings or even in various different documentations, people of a higher societal status, they were always getting their feet cleaned, or oils anointed to the feet. They knew back then the feet were important, this isn’t because they didn’t have gym shoes or boots.

When you are cleaning your body, really appreciate whatever soap you’re using, I’m not even kidding: say “thank you” to the soap.

And assist the light exfoliation with washcloth, a scrub brush, or authentic African net sponge. As you wash, take your time and focus on every inch of your body. If you notice any imperfections on your body, catch yourself, and rewire it. Instead of judging it, embrace it, “this is me, and I love it.” 

If you are conscientious about water conservation, you can turn off the shower stream during this process. Personally that’s what I do, I suds up and I scrubby scrub, then wash it all down the drain, and think of it symbolically.

Scrub the bottom of your feet, get in between your toes, and brush your nails. Pumice the heels and the sides of your big and little toes (or whatever toes you have that are on the outside). Do not rush, take your sweet time and train yourself to enjoy this process. Look forward to it, because you are setting aside a time to love and respect yourself.

After the cleansing, moisturize and nourish your skin. If your soap is leaving you ashy right after the shower, invest in something more high quality. Your body deserves it, and your skin is the largest organ of your body. Dermal absorption is a real thing; exposure to the outside elements enter your body through the skin, so imagine when you’re directly applying something to it. Take your time, love that body.

Face care is more involved. The skin on your face is thinner, more sensitive, is composed of smaller cells, and will be more reactive to the products, when compared to body skin. If you wear makeup, remove that overnight, don’t be lazy, because what happens during your sleep is an entirely other video. 

Just like with your body, take your time to apply your moisturizer, and appreciate what your face looks like. Again, if you start fixating on something you don’t like, rewire. This is YOU, this is YOUR face, love it while you’re on this earth. 

The face skin is directly attached to the muscle, so as your applying, massage your face, and learn the muscle patterns. This is where gua sha comes into play. If you don’t have gua sha tools, using your hands and fingers is just as good. Understand how to use your own tools (hands) that are always with you.

And lastly, your hair. If spending a day at the beauty shop or the barber shop makes you feel great, then go all out and get full service. The key point is to execute methods that will regain your personal power. Whatever you do, make sure you are doing it for you. Don’t get a certain look to impress anybody else. If you do that, you’re still giving away your power to someone else. It’s like your Player One in a video game. What is the best look as you navigate through the NPCs? It’s about what you want.

While at home, massage your scalp while washing your hair. If you’re bald, still massage your scalp in the shower. I bought a couple scalp massagers from the 5-quarter-store (Dollar Tree), which I use for product application and to massage at the same time. I use to one to apply oil to my scalp on hair wash days, and I have another in the shower to use with the shampoo.

If your hair is color treated or bleached, make sure that you are nourishing the strands to counteract the chemical effects. Trim off dead ends. Don’t give yourself bangs! JK, do whatever the fuck you want, to empower yourself.

Doing all this is going to assist with the glow up. Our outer health is essential for quality of life. As a result, you will look good, but if you didn’t catch this by now, we’re not do this to necessarily “look” good. This is to feel good, love ourselves, and validate ourselves. 

If you can fill your own cup and validate yourself, whenever someone is attracted to you, then you can be like, “Oh cool: I like me too; we have that in common.”

And if someone is not attracted you, you can be like, “Oh really? You’re fucking weird. I love me some me. Piss off.”

Continue doing this, even after you're over the breakup, and you’ll see that year after year, you'll continue to Level Up, and be better and better. Constantly upgrading.

A little self-plug as I conclude here:

You may noticed I didn’t recommend any products in this video, primarily because I am more holistic, and I rarely buy things that are on the shelf. I’m 41 and haven been incorporating this lifestyle for over 10 years. If holistic care interests you, I also have another branch, LSEarthHealth, in which I will be creating some content with my personal routines and procedures.