Make a List of Dislikes

Earlier this month, I talked about making a list of all good things you admired about your ex and the corresponding relationship. And then, to become those things yourself. 

Now, let’s make another list, but about the things that you didn’t like.  

This is NOT to drag your ex, the old relationship, or even yourself. 

This is to recognize what didn’t serve you, so moving forward, you can continue your personal growth, and to know what you require in any relationship, not just romantic ones. This is creating your boundaries.

If you did not agree with the decision for the relationship to end, if you were dumped unexpectedly, it’s common where all you can think about, is all of the *good* memories about the relationship. By all means, cherish those memories. 

But, don’t be blinded and fool yourself into thinking that it was all puppies and rainbows the entire time. Obviously the relationship ended, so it couldn’t have been complete bliss, especially in those last weeks, or months. 

What was the basis of the arguments or disagreements? Was there something that you two consistently butted heads over and over? 

Were there times that you didn’t like something, but didn’t say anything, because you wanted to play it cool, and not stir the pot? 

What were some cringey things that your ex did, but you turned your cheek, because you love them ?

Did you ever communicate your wants and needs to them, but they weren’t able to make a compromise or adjustment? 

And point-blank, what did they do that was, flat out annoying?

To remind, these questions are not to talk shit about your ex, but instead, to recognize in yourself, what doesn’t serve you. In your ideal romantic relationship, and even in any interaction with other humans, what are deal breakers?

When you have this list in front of you, for each item, dive even deeper and question “why? “

Why don’t I like this? 

And, in the future, when the moment comes, "how can I properly communicate this boundary to that other person, in a direct and healthy manner?"

And, "if the person doesn’t respect the boundary, how will I then respond?"

Every single human on this earth, equally deserves to be treated with respect. In a perfect world, we would be point-blank honest and transparent, and we would all be healthy enough to actually hear that honesty, and to respond back with equal love. 

Until the world gets to that state, we are not responsible for how anyone reacts, but we are responsible for ourselves. 

Be the change that you want to see in the world.
(-paraphrased from Ghandi)

The electromagnetic field around your heart is 60 times greater in amplitude than the electrical field of the brain. And it actually extends off of your body by 3 feet. 

Taking care of yourself, understanding yourself, and feeling love and gratitude, makes an impact on the people around you, when you tune your heart to the emotions of peace and positivity. 

It is your responsibility to put yourself in that state, and raise your frequency. Understanding what you like and don’t like, and communicating what you don’t like, but in a positive way, is your job. 

So full circle, think about those things that give you the ick with your ex, come to fully understand it, and don’t look at it as a negative thing. This is research.

Your intentions are positive and with love. Another step in upgrading yourself, and therefore upgrading your world.